Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Week 29- GBE 2---TRUTH

The TRUTH about the holiday season is that there are more people than most of you realize that need assistance. I know myself as a paraplegic that attempting to go out for groceries or Christmas shopping can be so overwhelming, a lot of the time I just don't do it.

I spent many years having to defend my "QVC QUEEN" title by friends and family members. I have like many of you been on a tight budget.Folks just didn't get it. I am sure they thought I was being extravagant. TRUTH of the matter is, I was being practical. I would try to make light of it, but it hurt. It was much easier to pick up the phone, call an 800 (free!) number and  place an order. Sometimes I would even luck out and they would wrap up the gift for me with a tag giving the recipient my loving regards. Not to mention they would mail the package to the person directly...saving me the much dreaded trip to the post office or local parcel delivery companies long lines...most of the time without proper seating for waiting customers, such as myself, who couldn't stand that long in line.

Not all of us have someone who is willing and/or available to go along with us to get those errands done. If most people are like me, I'll ask once, if I get the least bit of eye rolling, excuses that I know aren't legit or the "I'm really busy but MAYBE next Wednesday I can work you in"... I will not ask again. PERIOD. I'm done with it. I'll figure out myself.

The same goes for holiday decorations. If I had a dime for everytime I asked someone to come by and help me (which is hard enough for me to do in the first place) to have them 1. Not show up 2. Call with a pretty lame excuse 3. Or basically tell me they have their own houses to tackle...yep I've been told that. It can put a pretty big damper on the Christmas decorating spirit, especially when those same people are the ones that say that famous line "if you need anything, just call". They don't realize how many times they have left me frustrated because I CAN'T DO IT and in tears. Decorating just isn't worth that kind of depression.

Let's talk a little about handicap parking and those waiting lines to check out. I know that most of you have noticed that not everyone who is parking in those little blue lines seems to be in the least bit disabled. I've seen it many times. Someone borrows grandma's car so that they can get that great spot up front and get to their shopping. What they don't seem to consider is that we the physically disabled hold tightly to our independence, you take that spot, it puts a halt to our independence. Even if you do have a placard and you are able to walk, how about just for this time of year (okay most of the year if I'm honest) take that spot just a few more cars down and allow the people that really could use that spot to utililize it. It would be a bigger blessing than you can imagine. As for check out lines, how many of you have stopped long enough to look at the people behind or in front of you, if they are in one of the scooters chances are MOST OF THE TIME they could use some help unloading that cart and loading it back up. If you can...it would be a super big blessing to walk outside with them and help them get things in their vehicles. We have just as much trouble getting those "helpers" at the big stores to show up when they are needed! You will make a shopping experience much more light hearted for people such as myself and along the way prove my theory that there ARE good people out there in the world.

Maybe this year you could call an elderly or disabled person and ask if they need any help shopping, I know from first hand experience many stores don't have wheelchairs or electric carts and many of us just aren't physically able to push a shopping cart, so we don't go. Also watch for a person who is disabled who might be looking up on a shelf, chances are an item is out of their reach. Also in the freezer section those doors can be a hassle to keep open while we try to retrieve an item. It won't hurt to ask if they need help! You know that saying don't you? A blessing given comes back ten fold. Believe it!

I hope you will really see what I've written here and apply it to your lives...everyday lives. It could change a person's life such as myself, not to mention yours! Thanks for stopping by and spending some time with me. Remember always that you are important and you are loved! Have a great week my friends!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

GBE Weeek 28-Topic BUCKET LIST

I wrote a bucket list once for this original group. It seems like such a long ago faded memory. So many things in life have changed since that innocent list was written. I look at the world differently..but that's not to say my list will have changed completely.

My list isn't necessarily in order of importance. They are in order of how they popped in my head! Here we go....

1. People would learn to understand others, place themselves in their shoes. The old saying "you never truly know what's going on in a person's life until you've walked a mile in their shoes." Put it into practice.

2. Forgiving would come easy for all.

3. Each person could see past all of the crud that sometimes people put in front of themselves, around themselves...sometimes knowingly...others times subconsciously to keep from hurting or having to deal with hurt. And we could just love. Plain and simple.

4. Children would never know hunger.

5. No person, big or small would ever know abuse of any sort.

6. That each day could begin and end for each person with laughter and giving thanks for what we have.

7. No more homelessness

8. Jobs for all

9. Greed would disappear and gratitude would grow

10. That there really was such a thing as happily ever after. Forever and always no matter what.

11. Politicians would truly work "for the people" and not for who lines their pockets.

12. That trip to New Zealand still sounds nice.

There is my bucket list. I could have gone on and on and on! But you guys have other Bucket List to take in don't you?!? Have a good week. Remember you are important and you are loved!

Friday, November 25, 2011


I went to read Word Nerd's post and realized that she and I were on the same page this week. I was going to change my post, but then I decided she wouldn't mind and I would share a couple of stories from the past on uncontrollable laughter. The kind I love the most...good timing or not!

I was in high school, it was the Christmas holidays. You remember that time when you had a few weeks off from school right?. The "story" we told our parents was that we were going to the movies, then to the midnight movie...effectively extending our curfew by a couple of hours! SWEET FREEDOM FOR MANY HOURS! What kind of mischief could we get into?!?

As we drove along one of the teen passengers had the idea to go way out in the country. He knew of a spot off of the interstate that had a little road that led down the levee. A secret place where WE could see people coming, but they couldn't see us! BRILLANT! Unfortunately he didn't quite get the spot right, we turned off and went down the levee...without any road! The car ended up getting stuck and it would take most of us to lift it up just that little notch to get it unstuck and back on straighter ground. Mark, who is a life long friend of mine had night blindness..but that never stopped him. He got out and was lifting and pushing with the rest of us. After a while, he got a bit overheated so he took off he brand new suede and camel hair coat he had gotten for Christmas a few days before and placed it on the top of the car. After much heaving we managed to loosen the car and get it free. We climbed back in and took off. After a few moments, Mark started to shiver and realized his new coat was on top of the car. Just at that moment the coat went flying off...into the other lane and was run over by an 18 wheeler. Nope..I didn't say a thing. We dusted it off, put it back on him and sent him home...blind and unaware of the 18 tire marks down the back of his expensive new coat! I think he got grounded for about a month! We still laugh about that incident some 30 years later!

A few years back, one of my dearest friends lost her mother. At the funeral her and her 5 siblings insisted I sit up front with all of them during the funeral. Her mom lived in a tiny town where most of the folks knew everybody. My friends brother (who is extremely mischievious) decided that this little gossipy town needed something to talk about. Unbeknownst to me, he told a few key "gossipers" that I was the illegitimate child of their mom and they had just found out! I couldn't figure out why everyone kept staring at me and whispering. When he whispered the reason...I went into..not giggle, not laugh but SNORT mode of laughter! In fact all of us, but the eldest daughter who is very straight laced got the giggles. We never told her what had happened! I'm sure my friends mother was laughing along with us! She would have appreciated that kind of thing!

Laughter. I am glad it is one of our release mechanisms. I can't count the times when I've been in a situation and somehow something funny happens and the gloom and doom that was overhead disapates...even if for a brief while. Remember to laugh  now and again. It's good for your soul, good for those around you...it's just a good thing in life. Have a great week my friends. Remember you are important and you are loved!

Thursday, November 17, 2011


The year was 197...GAG...COUGH...memory lapse..NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS I refuse to date myself! Anyway, mid 70's...OKAY EARLY 70's are you all happy? It was Christmas time. My brother had arrived a few years earlier and he was now too big to share a room with any of us, my parents decided to turn our "play room" into a bedroom for ME! For some reason my parents thought because I was disabled, they would have a better chance giving the room to me (it had a front door to it) than to my older sister. Boy...what they still don't know about their decision to put little blue eyed, paraplegic ME in that room (evil grin).

Okay, back to my story..it was Christmas time and I was in a full swing "hippie" mode. Long hair parted down the middle, blue jeans, you know the look! I had requested to decorate my new room in purple, I'm talking carpet, walls, bedspread, curtains...that got shot down. So then I requested a grape vine be painted on my wall...well my mom thought I had lost my mind over that request (and decades later, what adorns the walls of Americans and other countries? GRAPEVINES! I should have patented that idea!). So for Christmas I put on my list I wanted electric hair curlers, jeans, tie dye shirts, and beads to hang on my door. As the holiday drew nearer, the tree went up and under the tree was a BIG square box that weighed a ton with a name tag that said Taina, MY NAME on it! I should have been excited, but I figured it was some sort of hope chest, or something boring...not at all what I had requested from good ole St. Nick.

On Christmas Eve we have a family tradition where we are allowed to choose one box to open. This Christmas however, I was given what gift I was to open! What the hay?!?! It was a cute little necklace from Avon...yay family..it was not hippie style at all, not a peace or love sign, no yin yang...just a cutsey little necklace that I'd file away in the jewelery box for later use! I was hoping this wasn't an indication of what Christmas morning was to bring. What could be in that heavy huge box? Nothing from my Christmas list I was quite sure.

Christmas morning arrived and in usual Taina fashion I was up and at em by 5am. Yes folks, I was that dreaded child that gets SO excited over gifts that I can't sleep, they drive me NUTS! I shake my gifts (and sometimes yours)  and listen, smell them, look at the box size and weight of the gift...doing calculations of what they could be...and on a FEW occasions, I may have even tried to loosen the tape to get a peek! I could barely move this big box, but when I did, it sounded as if dozens of little "somethings" were rolling around it it. Maybe the "hope chest" was filled with dishes and I had broken them all shaking the box. Crud, how was I going to explain that one? After opening many gifts, I was FINALLY allowed to tear open that big heavy box. As I gazed into the box, I saw many rectangle objects wrapped up in newspaper. As I started to undo the things...BRICKS. I had gotten a box of bricks? What? Was this the new 70's version of coal? Hold on here, I wasn't perfect, but I sure wasn't bringing up the rear of Santa's naughty list either! I got a little further and started to find MARBLES. Okay this is getting weird family, and y'all thought I was off with the purple room request?. Digging further down, I noticed that there were smaller square packages wrapped up in newspaper. As I unwrapped the first smaller object I found....BEADS!!! Tons of beads to hang up on my door! I have not a doubt the entire neighborhood heard my gleeful scream!

I'm pretty sure it was Christmas night that I started bugging my parents to help me get them up! And man oh man-when I say I was the envy of all my neighborhood friends, that's an understatement! Awesomely cool parents who although wouldn't enlist in the "purple room" theory, they still delighted their daughter by letting her embrace her "hippie" mode. Yes, God sure did bless me when He decided to pop me into my families lives. He knew EXACTLY what He was doing. But then, He always does!  Below is a poem I keep at my desk. It reminds me that I am who I am for a purpose and that Taina, is a very special person created to smile, love and live her life the best way she can.

Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth
It's time for another birth,
Said the Angels to the Lord above.
This special child will need much love.

His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show,
And he'll require much extra care,
From the folks he meets way down there.

He may not run, or laugh, or play
His thoughts may seem quite far away
In many ways he won't adapt
And he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content,
Please Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away,
The leading role they're asked to play,
But with this child sent from above,
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given,
In caring for this gift from Heaven,
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is Heaven's very special child.

Life isn't always fair. There are many times we have to face difficult seasons in life. Remind me when the gray skies seem to overwhelm me that I can get through those times. That good days are around the corner and to not loose sight of what makes me special. Being me. Our packages don't matter, it's what is inside that does. Allow those in your lives to be themselves, don't try to force your hand because they don't see things your way or won't abide by what you feel is the way they should be handling things. We all handle things in our own way and that should be respected. Don't ignore people, or think by distancing yourself that a lesson will be taught. All that will do is cause hurt all the way around the room and waste the thing we should hold precous above all...our time here on earth. To forgive, to accept, to have faith and to give love freely is what we are here for. Remember always you are important and you are loved. And that YOU have a purpose here. You don't have to be the best of the best..just try being you. Thanks for stopping by...have a good week my friends.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

GBE 2 Week 24---Popularity

I was going to start this paragraph and blog with a "when I was in grade school..." then I realized that I had held on to the notion of "popular" much longer than that. It's only recently that I've truly come to understand that "popularity" can be deadly to you. It doesn't allow the things most important about you to shine through. And that folks is a real shame.

Most people love to hear that we're a decent person, a good friend, a good parent, good spouse, etc. In all honesty, those kind of comments make us feel good about ourselves. They give us what we feel is validation on a job well done. But who are we competing against? Wanting that top spot in the "land of popularity" is actually just asking to be put on display...spotlight shining down... to be judged. Society has really screwed around with our heads folks. As that saying went in the last century STOP THE MADNESS!

I have some extra luggage in my spare compartments, I have wrinkles, I screw up all the time and I have to learn a lesson in life yet again and start anew. That is called being human. I'm no longer here to meet your standards society. I'm not here to be your best buddy, the person with the best advise, the cleanest housekeeper. I am not some person you thought I was or you wanted me to be. And I can't be that person for any of you. I am only me. 

Popularity? Send it to hell in a hand basket with a cherry on top. I really could care less. I'm good here. Just being plain ole me. Thanks for stopping by friends. Remember you are important and you are loved. Have a good one and make it count...by just being the wonderful you that you were created to be.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

GBE 2 Week #23----OWNERSHIP

There comes a time in life when we must take an honest inventory of ourselves rather it be health, relationships, mental, physical of spiritually...and in some cases all of the above. In order to do the "honest" part of the inventory, we have to take ownership of the good, the bad and the downright ugly that we all have residing inside of us at one time in our lives or another.

I have been going through my own inventory lately and in doing so, taking ownership of my thoughts, my reactions, as well as my actions. Taking ownership means taking responsibility, being accountable for all the "stuff" that makes up who you are currently. And hopefully, deciding to place a new and improved order for the stock you shall put on your inner shelves. We are worth spending a little more effort or mental money to get ourselves to a better place. There is always room for change and improvement in life. Always. Oftentimes we do ourselves a great diservice by thinking we are just fine the way we are, we don't need to change..it's "the other guy" that needs to do the changing". WRONG.

Keep in mind what I said earlier, ownership of all things within us, that includes the good inside. Life can be a hurricane, sometimes a Category 5 one at that. We are the trees during the storm that have to bear the weight of the wind and rain...learning to bend but not allowing the storms of life to break us is a great lesson to apply in life.. By taking ownership of the good in you, that inner strength that you might not have even known you posessed can be lifesaving!

The miracles of life...they can be huge, such as a baby being born that has all the odds stacked up against it and sure enough, that baby pulls through and just thrives. Miracles can also be as small as a cocoon hanging from a branch that opens up and out flies a beautiful butterfly, or the tiny seeds on this Earth that blossom and become the very food sources that keep us alive and well. Creating your own miracles in life can be done by taking ownership of them. The "CPR" of miracles: 1. Command  2. Promise and 3. Risk. Command to yourself that things will get better, promise yourself and keep that promise of making that turn around the curve in life to a better way to live. To let your light shine!  To accomplish this we have to take risk, you must put yourself out there in order to get it done. Scary yes, worth it..you bet! (shout out to Pastor David for the CPR's of miracles!).

Thanks once again friends for dropping by and visiting for a while. Always remember, you are important and you are loved! Have a great week and remember to make it count!

Thursday, October 13, 2011


I remember a few months ago pulling over on the side of the road in my old neighborhood racked with tears, hardly able to breathe. I prayed this prayer "God, if You can hear me, PLEASE give me some clarity. My eyes are so clouded it's as thick as the Mississippi mud and my heart doesn't know which way to turn. Please God, can you hear me? If so, send an answer."  And He did. Now I am not here to tell you what you should or shouldn't believe in, my belief system is just that...MINE. But I know where I was then and I know where I'm at now and although some days can be rough, the waters have cleared considerably.

I have been shown that I AM a good person, not perfect but I try and I'm trying harder each day that I'm blessed with to learn and apply. I've learned to be more open and honest with those around me. Most of the people in my life haven't liked that new side of me...but I have to be true to myself. I have to start with liking who I am- embracing who Taina is, not what other people want Taina to be. I have seen much clarity as to where I came from, the things that happened in my past that damaged me and how it damaged the life I went on to live...damage by the bucket loads. I've decided to stop that cycle. I've taken steps to embrace what is going on in life, physically, spiritually and emotionally with me, work through those issues with as much honesty as I can with myself and really see where I need to apply more work. It isn't always easy to look at yourself with clarity and truth. However, the past is the past, it must be forgiven and the slate wiped clean on my own self as well as those who have hurt me for me to move forward. Although this part is a daily struggle, I remind myself each day I AM WORTH THE EFFORT and to not allow words to sting me as much as they use to. I am only in control of my own personal space and I'm trying to make it a nice place to want to visit.

I know (much more than I use to) what I want out of life and who I'd like beside me on that path. That part isn't easy either as not all parties at this time and place are willing participants in any type of peace treaty. But I have an abundance of faith, I've always been optimistic and I refuse to give up on any of  them, but I can't fix them either, they have to find their footing themselves. I have the clarity of vision to know that I'm not always going to be strong enough to handle some things that come down life's highway, that's when I look up and ask Him to be strong enough for the both of us. I refuse to be classified as seeing through "rose colored glasses" or a "Pollyanna" type of person just because I choose happiness, peace, understanding, forgiveness and love. I am who I am. I am strong as I am weak, I can smile brightly as well as cry a river of tears, I can fall down, but I get up, I might wobble, but I keep going. I am Taina...I love with all I have and I won't apologize for wearing my heart on my sleeve. I can see clearly now that I'm on the right path and it will eventually lead to greener pastures, with flowers all around and blessings in abundance. Believe and you shall receive. Ready...set...PUSH FORWARD.

Thanks for stopping by my friends. Remember that you are important, loved and appreciated! Have a great week..make it count!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

GBE Week 20--- BALANCE

Balance...what the heck is that? Beats me! I no more know about balance than the man in the moon. I am instantaneous, I can't balance my checkbook for the life of me, I don't follow the food pyramid (the new one or the old ones) for a "balanced" diet....DIET...it starts with the word DIE for Pete's sake!  I forget to call friends that are in hard times, I forget what months I'm on the food ministry (thank goodness for reminder emails), I forget to do the homework assignment for my class! Yeah-that word balance, the word gives me hives.

I went to services tonight and the topic was boldness, then the pastor went on to say (as I was getting my bold act all ready in my head) that sometimes we beat things into the ground and repeat and repeat and don't turn our focus on the man upstairs. Again, a balancing act. To be bold, but be bold about the right things...but what ARE the right things? Am I hearing me, OR am I hearing Him? Sigh...I am a work in progress. I think I will remain so until my last breath. Hopefully a work that is learning a better way to live, a better way to treat others and myself. But it seems to always boil down to a balancing act. And I think I have vertigo...of life.

Maybe the most important thing about balance is to keep trying. Don't give in, don't break during the storm but learn to bend. Believe in what you believe and don't stop trying to find that balance that works just for you. Hey, a girl can hope can't she? Remember you are important and you are loved. Have a good week my friends.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

GBE 2 Loyalty

This week's assignment with the writing group GBE 2 is "LOYALTY". After thinking on this for a while I decided to write about the two things in life lately that have been a constant source of loyalty for me. I hope you enjoy my little story.

On nights when I can't sleep, I feel two things close by, one right beside me, warm and comforting, the other in my heart telling me that all things in life happen for a reason and that I do not walk alone on this journey called life.

When tears fall freely down my face and it seems that I can't get control of them, I feel that warm body next to me, instantly knowing I need some love and comfort. I also feel in my soul Him who tells me that He also is right beside me and won't walk away, no matter what I have said or done...past or present.

Days and nights when the pain in my body sometimes get to be so unbearable and I wonder if I am strong enough to stand it, or will it ever let up? Again, I feel that loving constant warmth that seems to know that I am in pain and might need a nudge to let me know I'm not alone at all...cuddling up next to me either in bed or on the sofa or recliner. And the quiet voice in my heart that says "child, have faith and hold tight; better days are coming". And I know I'll be okay.

My sweet Teaza, a gift to me 8 years ago that has been my constant source of unconditional love. She sits by my side on the floor, lies by my side in bed or sits in the recliner as I read. It doesn't matter to her if I'm happy, sad, crying, lonely, lost or hurting. She just loves me, is always glad to see me, understands when I can't be as happy as her. She just loves and loves and loves. If only we humans could learn from our furry friends what a better world it would be. And my Jesus...through Him all things are possible. Sometimes I forget that He is there and I ask for His forgiveness. When I get caught up in myself, my situation, my questions, my fears...I am learning to talk to Him more and more and put my trust in His capable hands. That God is in charge of all things, and His divine plan will be laid out for me to see if I just have patience and believe.

To have two such wonderful sources in one person's life...that is a blessing. I hope you have your source of loyalty as well. It sure does make the good days better and the not so good days easier to handle. Have a good week and remember...you are important and you are loved.

Monday, August 22, 2011

GBE Week 14 Growing Wild

Growing wild....don't you just love wild flowers? They are one of God's precious gifts. I watch for wildflowers all through the year and notice the tiniest of them in the yard...beside the road or in a distant field on a road trip. But that's not where this blog is going to be heading...NOPE! We're going to talk about life, the road up ahead and "Growing Wild" and how I would like to incorporate into my own life.

Often when we get to the "upper" years of our lives, we are expected by society to act accordingly. According to whom and what book of reference I'd like to ask? Who says just because I turned the big 50 this year that I have to bring out the rocker, accept my gray hairs and dress "my age"? Now mind you, I don't plan on enrolling in a pole dancing class, or ordering a new wardrobe from Victoria Secrets...but I don't think I'm ready to be put out to pasture just yet either! This gal has got a few more miles left in her game!

I've spent the vast majority of my adult life trying my best to behave. Act like the daughter, sister, wife, aunt, friend and mother that I was supposed to act like. And causing myself a some grief in the process. Simply because I was trying to live up to those society rules of life. Early in life, I was care free, living like the wind....zooming up and down, north to south and anywhere in between. I had the "live now...in this moment" attitude and have had many a fond memories to go along with that thought process.

Now that I have many years of life experiences under my belt, I feel that I can be a better judge on "growing wild"...with faith, grace,dignity and passing out the love that always has been abundant in my heart. To allow the best qualities in me out...to not keep them restrained or live in fear that if I allow my heart to show too much, I'll allow you out there to see too much of me. I don't want to live like that anymore. What was acceptable yesterday no longer applies. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself and God.

I don't want to "settle in and settle down". NO! I want to be like those lovely wildflowers in nature!  They look so delicate, but in reality they are quite capable of weathering storms and coming back up year after year to show off their inner strength along with that outward beauty. I don't want to "settle" at all as a matter of fact. I have a game plan for my life. That plan involves being honest..even when it hurts, realizing I don't have to give anyone an answer...I can simply say because I wanted to and not feel guilty about it! Letting go of things I have no control over, forgiving myself and others, not being defined by my past mistakes and not worrying so much about the trivial things in life that can bog us down. Allowing God to work on me each and every day so that I can bloom and grow wild with a zest for life and all it has to offer me.

Having a nice hot cup of herbal tea and rocking is lovely, but I won't let it define me. Nope, not I! Each day we are given a canvas. It is our job in life to fill that canvas up with all the colors of the rainbow and have fun creating our own unique work of art! Growing wild...want to come along on the journey? It's easy..just say YES! Thanks for stopping in my friends, remember you are loved and you are important! Have a great week!

Monday, August 8, 2011

No beginning, no ending...

This weeks GBE 2 assignment is a picture prompt write on the above lovely photograph! As usual, I am totally ill prepared and have not a clue where this is leading. So here we go gang! Enjoy the ride as my fingers do the typing!

The wedding ring, a circle that has no beginning, no ending..it is meant to stand for eternity. Two hearts joined together as one...standing by each other through the good times as well as the bad times. But life can  get complicated, one moment all seems well and the next...the legend of the ring isn't so firm standing anymore. Choices are made by one or both parties that can send the meaning of the wedding ring out into the abyss- sometimes whether we agree with that choice or not.

Maybe right now in life, one of you has a ring on and the other doesn't know where that ring is even located. Or maybe both rings are stored away safely with memories of a better time, or in some cases the memory is better left in the box (or the pawn shop) with the hurt from that time in life. Perhaps the rings are on a see-saw. One going up, the other down...not knowing if the rings will fall off the see-saw or maybe they will slide a little toward each other with time and find their way back to the finger they once were on.

In black and white terms what I'm saying here is that I believe in love. Love that can withstand the test of time, true love will have bumps and bruises, even a few war scars, but it deserves a chance to bloom full, be appreciated, protected and preserved. It deserves to  have a chance. So if you are at a crossroad, don't be afraid to take a stand for that set of rings if that is what your heart is telling you. Weather the storm and hold on tight, try to be patient. God works in His tiime, not ours.  Take the higher road and go down that crossroad with love, kindness and grace. And don't be too prideful to admit you're not perfect and you've made mistakes, and ask for forgiveness for yourself as well as the person wronged. It might not solve anything, but you'll be doing the right thing--for YOURSELF. You never know what might be around the next curve that life throws. No beginning...no ending...that can also be known as faith and hope..and a deep belief in a crazy little thing called love..

I realize some of you will not agree with my take on this topic, and that is okay. All I ask is that no matter how painful it might be, try to keep your heart open. Most of the time, blessings pop into your life when you aren't looking or expecting them!  As always, remember you are important and you are loved. Have a good week my friends!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Intuition..Can you hear me?

This weeks GBE 2 assignment was to write a blog on the word "intuition". Once again I did an "ugh" because it seemed to be beyond my thinking power at the moment or more honestly, not anything I felt I wanted to write about!  So my friends as usual, the fingers will do the typing and together we will see where this one goes!

There are times in life when you walk into a situation and you get a feeling you shouldn't be there. Or perhaps you meet a person that everyone has spoken highly about and you get that thing in your tummy that this person just isn't your cup of tea. On the other side of the spectrum, we may meet a person or go to a location and feel that in this particular situation it"s like a second skin to us. It seems so comfortable...no adjustment time needed. Kind of like putting on your favorite old pair of jeans or PJ's. I refer to this feeling as my God voice. There have been times I listened with great concentration and obeyed it and was so happy that I did, but then there have been many occasions I decided I was just being paranoid, silly, or stubborn and went full speed ahead! To crash into that brick wall that was sitting there waiting for me. Yes indeed...I should have listened!

I don't know about you guys, but I am one of those gals that can make a decision and talk myself right out of it in a microsecond, only to end up doing what I first thought I should! Or I have been known to make a u-turn and head back home because of a split second decision. So indecisive! It has been rumored that this word has "female" as part of the definition in the dictionary! That seems unfair for females as many women I know go for it and don't second guess themselves at all! My thoughts are that it is more a matter of not trusting your inner gut feeling...that God voice! And if you don't trust, you can't make a good decision.

What I can tell you right now in this moment in my life is that my "God voice" is getting louder. It is telling me to TRUST, to be patient and the plans for me will all be laid out. However, it seems the flesh of me somehow gets ahold of a megaphone and keeps me walking a zig zag trail that goes in circles. Like when a person is reading a book and wants badly to skip to the last chapter to see how it will all come out. When that happens, I need to get myself quiet (well as quiet as my mind will allow!) and refocus. I remind myself that I know that I have the strength to conquer any task thrown my way-even if I don't feel that way in that moment in time.  I've had to fight for most things my entire life. This section in my life is no exception to the rule. And in the scheme of life in God's eye, this moment is a blip...not a forever feeling that I feel as a human. Easy? Not by a long shot. But I will forge ahead and put more and more trust in my God voice. For it does say "Trust in Him at all times…. pour out your heart before him. God is a refuge for us." –Psalm 62:8. God knows my heart, I know that. I also know that He knows EXACTLY where I need to go. All I need is for someone to send Him a Fed-Ex package filled to the brim with glowing chalk that way He can use it light the way to the path I should be on. And God, please remember that not only am I near sighted with a stigmatism, but now I need reading glasses on top of it all! Make that path glow, make it glow, make it GLOW!

So as for intuition, it seems to me some of us are more in tune with it than others...and that's okay. Not one of us is perfect, we are occasionally going to take a tumble. Get up and keep walking! Take one day at a time, and for those of us out there that struggle with our gut or God voice...let's try a little harder to believe in ourselves and what that inner voice is telling us! After all, those brick walls leave me with one big ugly lump on my forehead and a heck of a headache! Have a great remainder of the week my friends and as always, remember you are important and you are very loved!

Friday, July 15, 2011

My Bakery

When I saw this weeks topic for GBE 2-BAKERY, I wasn't going to participate. I couldn't think of one thing to come up with. Then it hit me this morning. I wanted to share a story of a bakery in my minds eye. I have recently been witness to many friends "coming out of the closet" so to speak in sharing struggles in life they are about to face or are going through. How my heart aches for these friends and their struggles. So this story shall be a "coming out of the closet" so to speak for Taina. I will allow my fingers to do the typing and we'll see where it goes.

Recently my life went from content, happy and looking forward to a bright and promising tomorrow, to I'm not sure what tomorrow holds or where I'll be. Each day has been a struggle. Through God, close friends and family support, I am taking life day by day and sometimes moment by moment. It's been tough, I've gone from smiling and seeing the glass overflowing and able to always be the person to tell those around me to "hold on, the sun will come out brightly soon", to only having gray skies in life.  But enough of that, let's talk about my bakery.

I do have to start this tale out by saying I've started a new journey with God, getting to know Him much better, understanding the Bible and what it says to me, and trying to rearrange my life by praying daily to have eyes, ears, heart, hands and a mouth that are full of compassion, fairness, love and grace. So in putting together my basic recipe, God would have to be the top ingredient, with compassion, fairness, love and grace following. Each day as I start to put things together, thoughts of sadness, being vengeful, bitterness, despair and unforgiving things pop in my bowl (head or mouth) and I have to start anew on my dough. We can't put out baked goods with contaminated dough can we? It sounded like such an easy recipe, but gosh my hands are tired already from kneading, my arms tired from stirring and it seems my day has just begun.

Then of course there is the business itself. There are days when my sign says OPEN-COME ON IN, yet there are days when I will flip that sign to CLOSED-BE BACK SOON. Some people say "it's a choice" and yes it is..but for right now, it's a struggle and that is my truth. I'll be in a good place and then a thought will come to mind, I'll read, witness or I see something on the TV or hear a song on the radio that will just burst me into tears. I have thoughts that I'm not able to be a good pastry chef so why in the world try to bake anyway? Why would God entrust me with my own business to run? But I know that it's okay to feel that way. He loves me and He knows I can do this. What's important is to keep trying. Even those tiny steps help..they mean you moved forward.

Now to talk about customers. Oh yes, there will be those that come in with their noses in the air, ready to judge, thinking my shop's business would be much better and fun smoother if only run their way. My decor isn't fancy enough, my pastries don't look as good as the ones in the shop down the road. They might even throw an insult or two my way. I have to call to mind a saying I've tried to live by..."whatever floats your boat and makes you happy is okay with me, but please show me the same courtesy and allow my boat to go it's way as well". I have to allow these customer's not to detour me from my course, but allow them leave my shop, sending them on their way with love and light.  That isn't always easy. But it is the right choice to make for me and how I want to treat all customers that enter my shop. As for my regular customers, that's easy! They would forgive me if my cookies might be dry one day, or my loaves lumpy. They would be happy for me and how I'm trying and would stand beside me in love and support and want what I want in life.

Chef hat on-check! Apron tied around waist-check!  There might be flour flying all over the place, the kitchen is a wreck, you may see smoke (and possibly flames) coming out of the windows at those times when I loose track of the baked goods because I am feeling overwhelmed. But I will try to put that OPEN-COME ON IN sign up every day and keep it there. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Have a great week my friends and remember, you are important and you are loved.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

100 things to say

Love each other with all you have.

When you make a promise, keep it.

Don't let others view cloud your focus.

Try to do the right thing.

Apologize when you've done wrong.

Forgive when needed.

Have faith in your life, it is much more important than religion.

See the heart, not the package.

Validation is important in life.

Set your priorities in life in the correct order.

It's hard to face the clouds and see silver linings at times.

You aren't weird if you don't fit into that hole, the hole was carved incorrectly my friend.

We are all uniquely special.

Remember, you are loved my friends.

Monday, May 30, 2011

GBE 2- Week 2- Success

Well here we are with our second topic on the new GBE2 group and it's SUCCESS! I almost skipped out on this one, but those who know me, should know by now that I will usually take on a challenge. So here we go...no thoughts in mind. I'm just going to let my little fingers tell a story.

It seems today's society is obsessed with SUCCESS. We live in such a fast paced world, everyone wants to be the big dog, rush, Rush...RUSH get to the top! Well I say slow it down a pace or two. It's nice to be at the top of your game...the game of being a good person. That is how my eyes view success. How about you?

I need to be able to look in the mirror and realize I am human. I am a work in progress. I will screw up, sometimes in a big way. The important thing to gain success to me is to see those lessons, apply those lessons to life and try not to jump off the same ledge again. Doesn't that sound so easy? Learn, apply, don't do it again. But it isn't always so easy is it? To succeed, we have to keep getting up, sometimes not ignore the scraped up knee, but apply some soothing ointment and allow time for it to heal a bit before we restart our task in life.  But ALWAYS restart the journey. And at times, we ought to be able to turn off the "noises" of life and just listen to our inner self and what WE need for ourselves to succeed on this journey we call life. For myself, I am a success if I smile at someone and get a smile in return, give a friend a call to tell them you love them or send a little note. Trying to remain a good person in a world full of folks telling you to retaliate, make em pay, give it to em good....it isn't always easy. I'm taking it one day at a time, doing my best to do one of those things above and just be true to me, whether everyone likes that or agrees with my decisions. I have to be true to me to have success.

So stop beating up yourselves because you aren't the boss at work, or you aren't the President of the PTA,  you don't know how to cook, you aren't the best of housekeepers, or you can't find a job at the moment. That doesn't have anything to do with YOU being a success. Know that you were made with love, you were given the right to choose in life and that we screw up sometimes...but each of you is a winner...you truly are.

Have a great week my friends and remember you are loved.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Expectations.GBE 2

I first have to say when I logged on and saw what this weeks topic would be...I had no doubt Ms. Nerd Words had me in mind! What can be said about expectations? Should we even have any of them? If we do, do we limit them to ourselves only? What if we PUT expectations on those around us? Is that playing fair? The questions in my mind on this topic could go on for quite a long blog my friends.

Let me tell you what my life lessons have been on this topic of "EXPECTATIONS" for me, and me alone. Limit them to ourselves. Yes of course as a parent, you will have expectations that your children bathe, eat the right foods, are polite, do well in school, etc. I speak of expectations on an adult level. I have found through experience that placing expectations on someone else in your life can and will probably lead to disappointment. Sometimes those disappointments are huge and can change the course of a life, or many lives.

Life isn't always fair...even when you go about life trying to be a person doing their best to survive in it. We don't always get a great car, that's where lemons come into play, our homes don't always end up being the "dream house" we envisioned in our minds. They have termites, warped wood, cracked foundations, gosh that particular list could be endless! Relationships no matter how strong they seem to be to your eyes or even to those eyes looking in, can crack at the seams and do what you least expected.....fall apart.

So for this girl at this time in my life...I will "expect" the sun to come up each day. I will give thanks that it has and I was around to see it. I will expect Taina (for those of you new to me it sounds like China!) to do her best to put one foot in front of the other and I expect her to be nice to those she encounters. I expect her to always keep in mind we never know what a person's walk in life has been and to not judge a book by it's cover. You'll miss out on a whole bunch of wonderful things if you go through life with expectations that life itself will let you down on a continuous basis. So for you folks out there, chin up, eyes forward and keep putting one foot in front of the other...the important thing is that I expect myself, is to keep going. Have a great week and remember...you are loved.