Thursday, March 13, 2014

Turmoil-Blogging Lounge

Life, it has it's moments doesn't it? The road of life at times is paved perfectly, no bumps, no sharp curves, no T's in the road causing us to pause, and no speed bumps, lumps, humps or tables (yes we have each of these signs in my city!). Then sometimes the road to life can be gravel, full of ruts, unexpected curves, a speed bump every quarter block, and turn arounds that make you dizzy. Journey's dealing with turmoil in the midst cause one to put a bottle of TUMS in the glove box or first aid kit!

It seems that life for the most part, from my own experience, is not complete unless turmoil is in the mix. Sometimes caused by our own actions/decisions. Other times, we might simply be caught up undauntedly in a drama not caused by us. But caught up we are. Ugly turmoil. Nasty little thing. 

Trying to handle turmoil the best I can, I have assigned each letter a meaning to concentrate on to better handle situations that arise. T stands for toughing it out, U stands for unity, R stands for resilient, M stands for march on, O stands for overcome, I stands for identify and L stands for love. We each are tougher than we think. If we look around, we see friends or family that will stand with us in unity to help us through the turmoil we must sometimes fight, we are a resilient form of life we human! Knock me down, I'll get back up. And when I get back up, I'll march on, taking a lesson from my fall, record it to memory and try to do better the next round. We have the capacity to overcome each hardship that befalls us in life. Sometimes that is a learned art, but it is obtainable and applicable. Identifying what pushes your buttons in life, what causes the hurt, then working on not allowing them to get to you so much helps. The last letter in TURMOIL for me stands for love. If we can love, than forgiveness comes, freedom comes. I've lost my grip on love a few times, but I always reach until it hurts to bring it back to the center of who I am. Love of oneself isn't always easy to do. It's not...plain and simple. But it is worth striving for...and never giving up on it.

I am beginning to believe that turmoil is planning on making itself comfortable in my life. So I have to gear up to identify it, understand it, conquer it with love. So bring it on. I'm ready for the next round.  Okay, maybe not. But I have my plan ready to put into action so that the darkness doesn't overtake me and I tread above the water until am am strong enough to make it back to the shore. Have a good day and remember, you are loved

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Who Am I? Bloggers Lounge #1

I didn't even remember how to get into where I last did a blog...yes, it's been that long. A friend of mine decided to blog again, and then another friend offered to submit my name for this group and I am.

Who am I? Well, for starters I'm Taina, when you say my name remember it rhymes with China. Hence my screen name. After years of being Tonya, Tanya, name it, I've been called it. I decided to help people out! Many people call me by my nickname Tai. Feel free to use it.

Moving on to more issues of who am I....

I am a mom to a daughter I wish I saw more of. Wish I could turn back the clock and make things more like they use to be. But I can't do that, so I take it one day at a time and I know that she knows I love her and would turn the world upside down to help her. I also know that if something happens and I need her, she'll be there. She loves me too. Life got in the way. I'm trying to push it aside, but that bugger is hard to move.

I am a daughter to two wonderful parents whom any person would be lucky to have as parents. They love me unconditionally, and are always there with food, hugs, offers to help and Kleenex to wipe tears, even at this age of 53. They are my biggest cheerleaders and I so appreciate all they've donc for me.

I am a sister. I wish I could turn back the clock on this one also and make life easier. Easier in the sense that life wasn't so crazy and we could spend some quality time together more often. I'm not one to intrude, even if you say there is an open door policy, I wait for the invite. It's how I am. So more times goes by without seeing or chatting than I'd like, but they both have such busy lives. Again, we all know we'd do anything to help each other. But it always seems I am on the receiving end of the help and never able to give back. One day. But I love them both dearly.

I am an Aunt. All of my nieces and nephews are getting older and visiting with Aunt Tai isn't high on the agenda any longer. But I understand, I was young once. Seeing them smile, having fun and living life...that IS what makes it all worth while. And the stories they tell...well they sometimes leave me in tears...over the top joyful kind of tears.

I am a mother- in- law to a really nice son in law. He's kind and considerate. He is a good husband, provider and dad. Good morals and a good, good heart. Our entire family is lucky to have him.

I am a grandmother, rather I am a GiGi (the name I chose because I didn't FEEL like a Granny, MaMaw, MiMi, Grandmother, etc. And I will become a grandmother again at the end of April. My little Gman is my world. He was here just the other day, I took my eyes off that little rascal for two minutes and my dog took off out the doggie door and Gman followed. I heard a squeal and laughter and it was OUTSIDE. Oh my! All in a night of being a GiGi.

I am a lover of animals, Mother Nature, the elderly and I adore kids.

Other things I would say about myself are: I am kind, I give all I can...many times until it hurt. Right now I'm on a path that is gravel. Rough beneath me, lots of dust that hasn't settled and not sure where it's leading. It's a lonely path that  sometimes I close my eyes and trust that He will whisper in my ear when I need to bear left or right or just stand still for a while. I don't trust as much as I use to, I don't believe in fairy tale endings like I use to, I'm not the person that started blogging with GBE 1 all those years ago. I've gotten a bit beaten up in life, shaken around a bit and I'm trying my best to find my way back to me. So...Who Am I? Stand by, I'll let you know as I find out myself.