Thursday, March 13, 2014

Turmoil-Blogging Lounge

Life, it has it's moments doesn't it? The road of life at times is paved perfectly, no bumps, no sharp curves, no T's in the road causing us to pause, and no speed bumps, lumps, humps or tables (yes we have each of these signs in my city!). Then sometimes the road to life can be gravel, full of ruts, unexpected curves, a speed bump every quarter block, and turn arounds that make you dizzy. Journey's dealing with turmoil in the midst cause one to put a bottle of TUMS in the glove box or first aid kit!

It seems that life for the most part, from my own experience, is not complete unless turmoil is in the mix. Sometimes caused by our own actions/decisions. Other times, we might simply be caught up undauntedly in a drama not caused by us. But caught up we are. Ugly turmoil. Nasty little thing. 

Trying to handle turmoil the best I can, I have assigned each letter a meaning to concentrate on to better handle situations that arise. T stands for toughing it out, U stands for unity, R stands for resilient, M stands for march on, O stands for overcome, I stands for identify and L stands for love. We each are tougher than we think. If we look around, we see friends or family that will stand with us in unity to help us through the turmoil we must sometimes fight, we are a resilient form of life we human! Knock me down, I'll get back up. And when I get back up, I'll march on, taking a lesson from my fall, record it to memory and try to do better the next round. We have the capacity to overcome each hardship that befalls us in life. Sometimes that is a learned art, but it is obtainable and applicable. Identifying what pushes your buttons in life, what causes the hurt, then working on not allowing them to get to you so much helps. The last letter in TURMOIL for me stands for love. If we can love, than forgiveness comes, freedom comes. I've lost my grip on love a few times, but I always reach until it hurts to bring it back to the center of who I am. Love of oneself isn't always easy to do. It's not...plain and simple. But it is worth striving for...and never giving up on it.

I am beginning to believe that turmoil is planning on making itself comfortable in my life. So I have to gear up to identify it, understand it, conquer it with love. So bring it on. I'm ready for the next round.  Okay, maybe not. But I have my plan ready to put into action so that the darkness doesn't overtake me and I tread above the water until am am strong enough to make it back to the shore. Have a good day and remember, you are loved

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Who Am I? Bloggers Lounge #1

I didn't even remember how to get into where I last did a blog...yes, it's been that long. A friend of mine decided to blog again, and then another friend offered to submit my name for this group and I am.

Who am I? Well, for starters I'm Taina, when you say my name remember it rhymes with China. Hence my screen name. After years of being Tonya, Tanya, name it, I've been called it. I decided to help people out! Many people call me by my nickname Tai. Feel free to use it.

Moving on to more issues of who am I....

I am a mom to a daughter I wish I saw more of. Wish I could turn back the clock and make things more like they use to be. But I can't do that, so I take it one day at a time and I know that she knows I love her and would turn the world upside down to help her. I also know that if something happens and I need her, she'll be there. She loves me too. Life got in the way. I'm trying to push it aside, but that bugger is hard to move.

I am a daughter to two wonderful parents whom any person would be lucky to have as parents. They love me unconditionally, and are always there with food, hugs, offers to help and Kleenex to wipe tears, even at this age of 53. They are my biggest cheerleaders and I so appreciate all they've donc for me.

I am a sister. I wish I could turn back the clock on this one also and make life easier. Easier in the sense that life wasn't so crazy and we could spend some quality time together more often. I'm not one to intrude, even if you say there is an open door policy, I wait for the invite. It's how I am. So more times goes by without seeing or chatting than I'd like, but they both have such busy lives. Again, we all know we'd do anything to help each other. But it always seems I am on the receiving end of the help and never able to give back. One day. But I love them both dearly.

I am an Aunt. All of my nieces and nephews are getting older and visiting with Aunt Tai isn't high on the agenda any longer. But I understand, I was young once. Seeing them smile, having fun and living life...that IS what makes it all worth while. And the stories they tell...well they sometimes leave me in tears...over the top joyful kind of tears.

I am a mother- in- law to a really nice son in law. He's kind and considerate. He is a good husband, provider and dad. Good morals and a good, good heart. Our entire family is lucky to have him.

I am a grandmother, rather I am a GiGi (the name I chose because I didn't FEEL like a Granny, MaMaw, MiMi, Grandmother, etc. And I will become a grandmother again at the end of April. My little Gman is my world. He was here just the other day, I took my eyes off that little rascal for two minutes and my dog took off out the doggie door and Gman followed. I heard a squeal and laughter and it was OUTSIDE. Oh my! All in a night of being a GiGi.

I am a lover of animals, Mother Nature, the elderly and I adore kids.

Other things I would say about myself are: I am kind, I give all I can...many times until it hurt. Right now I'm on a path that is gravel. Rough beneath me, lots of dust that hasn't settled and not sure where it's leading. It's a lonely path that  sometimes I close my eyes and trust that He will whisper in my ear when I need to bear left or right or just stand still for a while. I don't trust as much as I use to, I don't believe in fairy tale endings like I use to, I'm not the person that started blogging with GBE 1 all those years ago. I've gotten a bit beaten up in life, shaken around a bit and I'm trying my best to find my way back to me. So...Who Am I? Stand by, I'll let you know as I find out myself.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Week 29- GBE 2---TRUTH

The TRUTH about the holiday season is that there are more people than most of you realize that need assistance. I know myself as a paraplegic that attempting to go out for groceries or Christmas shopping can be so overwhelming, a lot of the time I just don't do it.

I spent many years having to defend my "QVC QUEEN" title by friends and family members. I have like many of you been on a tight budget.Folks just didn't get it. I am sure they thought I was being extravagant. TRUTH of the matter is, I was being practical. I would try to make light of it, but it hurt. It was much easier to pick up the phone, call an 800 (free!) number and  place an order. Sometimes I would even luck out and they would wrap up the gift for me with a tag giving the recipient my loving regards. Not to mention they would mail the package to the person directly...saving me the much dreaded trip to the post office or local parcel delivery companies long lines...most of the time without proper seating for waiting customers, such as myself, who couldn't stand that long in line.

Not all of us have someone who is willing and/or available to go along with us to get those errands done. If most people are like me, I'll ask once, if I get the least bit of eye rolling, excuses that I know aren't legit or the "I'm really busy but MAYBE next Wednesday I can work you in"... I will not ask again. PERIOD. I'm done with it. I'll figure out myself.

The same goes for holiday decorations. If I had a dime for everytime I asked someone to come by and help me (which is hard enough for me to do in the first place) to have them 1. Not show up 2. Call with a pretty lame excuse 3. Or basically tell me they have their own houses to tackle...yep I've been told that. It can put a pretty big damper on the Christmas decorating spirit, especially when those same people are the ones that say that famous line "if you need anything, just call". They don't realize how many times they have left me frustrated because I CAN'T DO IT and in tears. Decorating just isn't worth that kind of depression.

Let's talk a little about handicap parking and those waiting lines to check out. I know that most of you have noticed that not everyone who is parking in those little blue lines seems to be in the least bit disabled. I've seen it many times. Someone borrows grandma's car so that they can get that great spot up front and get to their shopping. What they don't seem to consider is that we the physically disabled hold tightly to our independence, you take that spot, it puts a halt to our independence. Even if you do have a placard and you are able to walk, how about just for this time of year (okay most of the year if I'm honest) take that spot just a few more cars down and allow the people that really could use that spot to utililize it. It would be a bigger blessing than you can imagine. As for check out lines, how many of you have stopped long enough to look at the people behind or in front of you, if they are in one of the scooters chances are MOST OF THE TIME they could use some help unloading that cart and loading it back up. If you would be a super big blessing to walk outside with them and help them get things in their vehicles. We have just as much trouble getting those "helpers" at the big stores to show up when they are needed! You will make a shopping experience much more light hearted for people such as myself and along the way prove my theory that there ARE good people out there in the world.

Maybe this year you could call an elderly or disabled person and ask if they need any help shopping, I know from first hand experience many stores don't have wheelchairs or electric carts and many of us just aren't physically able to push a shopping cart, so we don't go. Also watch for a person who is disabled who might be looking up on a shelf, chances are an item is out of their reach. Also in the freezer section those doors can be a hassle to keep open while we try to retrieve an item. It won't hurt to ask if they need help! You know that saying don't you? A blessing given comes back ten fold. Believe it!

I hope you will really see what I've written here and apply it to your lives...everyday lives. It could change a person's life such as myself, not to mention yours! Thanks for stopping by and spending some time with me. Remember always that you are important and you are loved! Have a great week my friends!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

GBE Weeek 28-Topic BUCKET LIST

I wrote a bucket list once for this original group. It seems like such a long ago faded memory. So many things in life have changed since that innocent list was written. I look at the world differently..but that's not to say my list will have changed completely.

My list isn't necessarily in order of importance. They are in order of how they popped in my head! Here we go....

1. People would learn to understand others, place themselves in their shoes. The old saying "you never truly know what's going on in a person's life until you've walked a mile in their shoes." Put it into practice.

2. Forgiving would come easy for all.

3. Each person could see past all of the crud that sometimes people put in front of themselves, around themselves...sometimes knowingly...others times subconsciously to keep from hurting or having to deal with hurt. And we could just love. Plain and simple.

4. Children would never know hunger.

5. No person, big or small would ever know abuse of any sort.

6. That each day could begin and end for each person with laughter and giving thanks for what we have.

7. No more homelessness

8. Jobs for all

9. Greed would disappear and gratitude would grow

10. That there really was such a thing as happily ever after. Forever and always no matter what.

11. Politicians would truly work "for the people" and not for who lines their pockets.

12. That trip to New Zealand still sounds nice.

There is my bucket list. I could have gone on and on and on! But you guys have other Bucket List to take in don't you?!? Have a good week. Remember you are important and you are loved!

Friday, November 25, 2011


I went to read Word Nerd's post and realized that she and I were on the same page this week. I was going to change my post, but then I decided she wouldn't mind and I would share a couple of stories from the past on uncontrollable laughter. The kind I love the most...good timing or not!

I was in high school, it was the Christmas holidays. You remember that time when you had a few weeks off from school right?. The "story" we told our parents was that we were going to the movies, then to the midnight movie...effectively extending our curfew by a couple of hours! SWEET FREEDOM FOR MANY HOURS! What kind of mischief could we get into?!?

As we drove along one of the teen passengers had the idea to go way out in the country. He knew of a spot off of the interstate that had a little road that led down the levee. A secret place where WE could see people coming, but they couldn't see us! BRILLANT! Unfortunately he didn't quite get the spot right, we turned off and went down the levee...without any road! The car ended up getting stuck and it would take most of us to lift it up just that little notch to get it unstuck and back on straighter ground. Mark, who is a life long friend of mine had night blindness..but that never stopped him. He got out and was lifting and pushing with the rest of us. After a while, he got a bit overheated so he took off he brand new suede and camel hair coat he had gotten for Christmas a few days before and placed it on the top of the car. After much heaving we managed to loosen the car and get it free. We climbed back in and took off. After a few moments, Mark started to shiver and realized his new coat was on top of the car. Just at that moment the coat went flying off...into the other lane and was run over by an 18 wheeler. Nope..I didn't say a thing. We dusted it off, put it back on him and sent him home...blind and unaware of the 18 tire marks down the back of his expensive new coat! I think he got grounded for about a month! We still laugh about that incident some 30 years later!

A few years back, one of my dearest friends lost her mother. At the funeral her and her 5 siblings insisted I sit up front with all of them during the funeral. Her mom lived in a tiny town where most of the folks knew everybody. My friends brother (who is extremely mischievious) decided that this little gossipy town needed something to talk about. Unbeknownst to me, he told a few key "gossipers" that I was the illegitimate child of their mom and they had just found out! I couldn't figure out why everyone kept staring at me and whispering. When he whispered the reason...I went into..not giggle, not laugh but SNORT mode of laughter! In fact all of us, but the eldest daughter who is very straight laced got the giggles. We never told her what had happened! I'm sure my friends mother was laughing along with us! She would have appreciated that kind of thing!

Laughter. I am glad it is one of our release mechanisms. I can't count the times when I've been in a situation and somehow something funny happens and the gloom and doom that was overhead disapates...even if for a brief while. Remember to laugh  now and again. It's good for your soul, good for those around's just a good thing in life. Have a great week my friends. Remember you are important and you are loved!

Thursday, November 17, 2011


The year was 197...GAG...COUGH...memory lapse..NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS I refuse to date myself! Anyway, mid 70's...OKAY EARLY 70's are you all happy? It was Christmas time. My brother had arrived a few years earlier and he was now too big to share a room with any of us, my parents decided to turn our "play room" into a bedroom for ME! For some reason my parents thought because I was disabled, they would have a better chance giving the room to me (it had a front door to it) than to my older sister. Boy...what they still don't know about their decision to put little blue eyed, paraplegic ME in that room (evil grin).

Okay, back to my was Christmas time and I was in a full swing "hippie" mode. Long hair parted down the middle, blue jeans, you know the look! I had requested to decorate my new room in purple, I'm talking carpet, walls, bedspread, curtains...that got shot down. So then I requested a grape vine be painted on my wall...well my mom thought I had lost my mind over that request (and decades later, what adorns the walls of Americans and other countries? GRAPEVINES! I should have patented that idea!). So for Christmas I put on my list I wanted electric hair curlers, jeans, tie dye shirts, and beads to hang on my door. As the holiday drew nearer, the tree went up and under the tree was a BIG square box that weighed a ton with a name tag that said Taina, MY NAME on it! I should have been excited, but I figured it was some sort of hope chest, or something boring...not at all what I had requested from good ole St. Nick.

On Christmas Eve we have a family tradition where we are allowed to choose one box to open. This Christmas however, I was given what gift I was to open! What the hay?!?! It was a cute little necklace from Avon...yay was not hippie style at all, not a peace or love sign, no yin yang...just a cutsey little necklace that I'd file away in the jewelery box for later use! I was hoping this wasn't an indication of what Christmas morning was to bring. What could be in that heavy huge box? Nothing from my Christmas list I was quite sure.

Christmas morning arrived and in usual Taina fashion I was up and at em by 5am. Yes folks, I was that dreaded child that gets SO excited over gifts that I can't sleep, they drive me NUTS! I shake my gifts (and sometimes yours)  and listen, smell them, look at the box size and weight of the gift...doing calculations of what they could be...and on a FEW occasions, I may have even tried to loosen the tape to get a peek! I could barely move this big box, but when I did, it sounded as if dozens of little "somethings" were rolling around it it. Maybe the "hope chest" was filled with dishes and I had broken them all shaking the box. Crud, how was I going to explain that one? After opening many gifts, I was FINALLY allowed to tear open that big heavy box. As I gazed into the box, I saw many rectangle objects wrapped up in newspaper. As I started to undo the things...BRICKS. I had gotten a box of bricks? What? Was this the new 70's version of coal? Hold on here, I wasn't perfect, but I sure wasn't bringing up the rear of Santa's naughty list either! I got a little further and started to find MARBLES. Okay this is getting weird family, and y'all thought I was off with the purple room request?. Digging further down, I noticed that there were smaller square packages wrapped up in newspaper. As I unwrapped the first smaller object I found....BEADS!!! Tons of beads to hang up on my door! I have not a doubt the entire neighborhood heard my gleeful scream!

I'm pretty sure it was Christmas night that I started bugging my parents to help me get them up! And man oh man-when I say I was the envy of all my neighborhood friends, that's an understatement! Awesomely cool parents who although wouldn't enlist in the "purple room" theory, they still delighted their daughter by letting her embrace her "hippie" mode. Yes, God sure did bless me when He decided to pop me into my families lives. He knew EXACTLY what He was doing. But then, He always does!  Below is a poem I keep at my desk. It reminds me that I am who I am for a purpose and that Taina, is a very special person created to smile, love and live her life the best way she can.

Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth
It's time for another birth,
Said the Angels to the Lord above.
This special child will need much love.

His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show,
And he'll require much extra care,
From the folks he meets way down there.

He may not run, or laugh, or play
His thoughts may seem quite far away
In many ways he won't adapt
And he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content,
Please Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away,
The leading role they're asked to play,
But with this child sent from above,
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given,
In caring for this gift from Heaven,
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is Heaven's very special child.

Life isn't always fair. There are many times we have to face difficult seasons in life. Remind me when the gray skies seem to overwhelm me that I can get through those times. That good days are around the corner and to not loose sight of what makes me special. Being me. Our packages don't matter, it's what is inside that does. Allow those in your lives to be themselves, don't try to force your hand because they don't see things your way or won't abide by what you feel is the way they should be handling things. We all handle things in our own way and that should be respected. Don't ignore people, or think by distancing yourself that a lesson will be taught. All that will do is cause hurt all the way around the room and waste the thing we should hold precous above all...our time here on earth. To forgive, to accept, to have faith and to give love freely is what we are here for. Remember always you are important and you are loved. And that YOU have a purpose here. You don't have to be the best of the best..just try being you. Thanks for stopping by...have a good week my friends.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

GBE 2 Week 24---Popularity

I was going to start this paragraph and blog with a "when I was in grade school..." then I realized that I had held on to the notion of "popular" much longer than that. It's only recently that I've truly come to understand that "popularity" can be deadly to you. It doesn't allow the things most important about you to shine through. And that folks is a real shame.

Most people love to hear that we're a decent person, a good friend, a good parent, good spouse, etc. In all honesty, those kind of comments make us feel good about ourselves. They give us what we feel is validation on a job well done. But who are we competing against? Wanting that top spot in the "land of popularity" is actually just asking to be put on display...spotlight shining down... to be judged. Society has really screwed around with our heads folks. As that saying went in the last century STOP THE MADNESS!

I have some extra luggage in my spare compartments, I have wrinkles, I screw up all the time and I have to learn a lesson in life yet again and start anew. That is called being human. I'm no longer here to meet your standards society. I'm not here to be your best buddy, the person with the best advise, the cleanest housekeeper. I am not some person you thought I was or you wanted me to be. And I can't be that person for any of you. I am only me. 

Popularity? Send it to hell in a hand basket with a cherry on top. I really could care less. I'm good here. Just being plain ole me. Thanks for stopping by friends. Remember you are important and you are loved. Have a good one and make it just being the wonderful you that you were created to be.